Ugh....Damn You Eric

So me and Eric are up on yahoo, and we're both doing some late night writing. I ended up with a new poem, and I don't know if he ended. Well, the end outcome of our conversation is he wants to see the B.S. I've written in the past that I never showed him. So since his yahoo sucks he convinced me to put everything on blogspot. Ugh lol.

Poem I never finished: 

I can’t write anything of substance
Creativity is frozen in the depths of my soul
rambling along I  hope that it erodes, 
Fertilization of my gifts is needed to grow. 

Growth completely internalized

Upward mobility of my mind 
Time for a new direction, a new muse to unfurl
With wings to uplift me, taking me high
Until I choke…. 

I wrote this about Boy Meets World:

 I watched two best friends grow and cope with an awkward adolescence, 
One poor and rough around the edges, Shawn, the other middle class, goofy, and basically lacking any common sense. I witnessed true love blossom, what many may call a first kiss, I saw turn into a love that many could only wish, guided by wisdom and experience the whole cast was given a gift. Next door neighbor was also a mentor, teacher, and friend…he followed them through life until the bitter end. I love Boy Meets World….

Forced:

Chain my hand to the pen and force-feed me inspiration
A slave to my own desire to be better than great, 
I lover of words and the smiths that forge them, 
Words as stiff as steel, applied with the right tools, 
Bend to my will. Time passes and dulls the senses, 
Muscles relax and verbs are free from all tenses, 
Of past and future, 

Cram a word into a tight space and watch as it swells

Beeswax :

Who can write my story better than,
I’m the worker that impregnated the queen bee,
I flew away, 
Waiting the day that my larvae are able to see
No need for lenses, my kids were destined for broken vision
The better to follow different paths, and chart their own mission
Stinging unsuspecting by-standards, but leaving behind golden honey

Necter for the soul, that comes free, no need for money. 

Blog I never posted

I hate being in love. I hate it, simple right? I hate the type of love that is supposed to end when the relationship does, but sadly it doesn’t. I hate thinking about her every time I close my eyes. It is quite simply the worst feeling in the world. “ It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”…that is some bullshit. It is better than to not have loved because losing the one you love hearts worse than any pain imaginable. It’s the type of pain that never truly disappears but fades and dulls with time. Yet, it may spring up at any second to swallow you and submerge you within waves of despair.  

I love Mia Lynne. I have loved her since the beginning, and regret some of the choices I made while I was with her. I regret every argument because now I don’t have her to argue with. I regret every childish moment because now I don’t have her to be childish with. Mainly I regret not appreciating her while I had her. If I could do anything to have her back I would. Things just feel empty, and even with trying to date and move on I find that I still want her. No one is erasing these feeling, or even helping to keep them at bay.