2.22am

Obama for President

Ok, so I realized today, or rather yesterday, that the University of Missouri is a BIG F'IN DEAL! The next president of the United States was here to speak to the Columbia community. Now if only I was able to see him, or at least hear him, but unfortunately I had to relinquish my press pass, and was unable to make it due to my duty as a responsible, caring member of society. In lemans terms-- I was at work. 

Oh the joy everyone must have experience to witness a living legend speak today, even if that line was extremely long. I have statements from people who stood in line for at LEAST three hours. WTF!!!

I shouldn't act like I wouldn't have done it too. I mean it's Obama, when will I have another chance to see him in person? Obviously it wasn't going to happen yesterday, though, it would have been great, and to make matters worse I couldn't even afford an Obama T-shirt. How wack is that?!

So, in other non-presidential hopeful news I saw Jessica today. At this moment you may be asking who is Jessica. Well, let me enlighten you. She is the cute volunteer from the previous post. She was at the BGC today, and a small kindergardener told her I was a player. Wow, yes you should be shocked too. I was being blocked by someone who can barely count to ten without the help of a diagram, calculator, and abacus all at hand. 

It was pretty dastardly of him, to say the least. Yet, I could not fault him for it, kids are extremely sneaky in this generation. Luckily for me she isn't prone to believe the ramblings of the young. I saw her after work, at a fountain, and we enjoyed each others company for a good thirty minutes of my life. It was great times, and I hope to have more of them, but for all future endeavors between me and miss Jessica I plan to be far away from the BGC and all blocking little boys. 

I feel that this train has come to it's final stop for the night. Please depart the train and make sure you have all your baggage because the doors will be closed until further notice(probably until saturday since this counts as Friday's post). Goodnight and good evening. 

The BGC

The Boys and Girls Club isn't just a job for me, its a growing experience. 

I love kids...our generations responsibility is to pave the way for the next one to surpass us. I strongly believe that, especially since I just wrote it. I have seen kids come and go, and I hope that I have played a positive role in their life. I hope I have inspired them to step out of their shells and embrace their dreams. 

Dreams are the stepping stones to greatness. A great man said that, me. Whoever shall walk in the path of adversity and grow from their trials will be a stronger individual, and these kids are walking that path. I want to be a guiding light through the fog to insure their safe passage. 

Dreams are not only meant to be experienced during the R.E.M. stages of sleep, but rather during your time awake. That is why I'm working so hard to make sure that I don't lose sight of my dreams. I want to write professionally. I want to be acknowledged for my poetic skills, and as great word smith for my generation transcending boundaries and barriers that are firmly in place in this society we currently live in.  Sucks to have been born in this era sometimes. 

We are taught growing up that this is the best time for our dreams to be accomplished, and that there are sooooooo many opportunities to help make them a reality. Yet, at the same time there are soooooo many obstacles to a child's dream of just making it to the age of 18. 

I'm from Chi-town and its a dangerous place to be. I'm not saying that anywhere else is safe right now, well maybe somewhere in Idaho, you never hear about crime there. Chicago's homicide rate is incredibly high. I'll give the exact stats later, but trust me it's ridiculous when a seven year old boy is abducted and killed. Senseless violence! 

I know that is a sad thought, but back to the BGC. I love the kids, but they are crazy and wild. Today I was having a conversation with a very cute volunteer and I swear kids be trying to block on the low. It was funny, this 4th grader came up to me and my friend Jess, putting us on blast. LOUD! At the moment I didn't care because I actually like her , I didn't mind because it was funny, and who pays attention to a 4th grader, well I do. 

Ok, I'm tired and need to read. I'm seriously slacking. Its time for all passengers to exit the train while we refuel.  Save your tickets because you'll need them for re-admittance. Have a nice break. 

** By the beginning o July Chicago had 228 murders reports for 2008 **

Heartless Life's Instrumental

" In the night I hear em talk the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along the road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless"

My boy Eric put me on this song, oh, about two weeks ago. He loves it, and I love it too. Great minds thing alike, or is it the fact that we both have a lot of hesitancy when it comes to women at the moment? Maybe, maybe not. 

I had a dream about my ex-girlfriend. It was extremely melodramatic, probably because I had been watching Boy Meets World and Dawson's Creek on YouTube, but it was extremely disturbing. In this dream I don't know how, but we reconciled our differences, and i promised to put aside all the negatives in our relationship. I remember that another girl walked by and I turned to pay her some attention for some reason and then turned back to my Ex and found she wasn't visible to me, after scanning the area I finally saw her blending in to the surroundings. I woke up suddenly and felt like I'm not over her yet, I felt drained, even after 8 hours of sleep. 

At this exact moment I miss her like crazy, but I refuse to put myself out there anymore, I decided to move on and let go. My Bro's all told me that if I let go, maybe she'll come back when its time. Fuck all that! In the past few months time has stopped, seemed like father time had a heart attack, but my life has to keep moving. As much as I want to be with her, I know that I can't try to grasp what isn't there. This is one train ride that won't repeat. If its meant to be I hope she has her running shoes on cuz she has to run to catch this train again. Deuces.

P.S. Plus I find myself feeling someone else, and I'm interested to c where it goes, I hope it takes me to a place devoid of heartache, where I can bask in the peacefulness of having someone to share my dreams with and not nightmares devoid of love. So if she has the time, then i'll invest the energy. 

Why?

"Life is a struggle, and for all those who are reckless I hope your belt's buckled" Pierre Willis

A long time ago I wrote a poem analyzing why life is so hard, and I came to the conclusion that even after writing it, I still don't know. If I was to ask you that would you say because we as a people have to endure hardships to fully appreciate the good things in life. Uh No! If so thats some B.S. I want a long span of happiness, where I have everything I need. I'm tired of struggling and enduring waiting for my moment to be like Scrooge Mcduck and swim in my money bank. 

"But there is suffering in life, and there are defeats. No one can avoid them. But it's better to lose some of the battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever knowing what you're fighting for"  Paulo Coelho

I can be absolutely honest right now I am completely broke, never have I been this without. No money in the bank, if I dived into my account I'd probably die from impact. Although, I do get paid tomorrow so thats a blessing. Speaking of blessing, the bible says to think God for everything, and so yes I am thankful to have a job, and to be where I am at in life. Sure, I struggle, and I have to endure untold hardships everyday; whether it comes from people in my life who definitely do not deserve to be there, or the usual self-inflicted pain of wanting what I can't have. 

Well, I hope you've enjoyed the ride, this is my mindset right now. I'm tired of wanting and not getting, but more on what I want later. This is your stop hope you board again soon.