Nothing Even Matters

I'm officially addicted to Lauren Hill. She is one of the best lyricists ever to exist. This is my attempt to recapture everything I get from her song Nothing Even  Matters. Yep.

Time and time again I want to rewind,

back to where you end and we begin.

Reliving every laugh, every smile,

Holding hands as we walk down the aisle.

Mile after mile, of insecurities mixed with love.

An affair that that only our hearts were aware of.

Cheating on rationality as we discarded everything else for a casualty.

Every word we spoke touched our souls and left us flattered.

We discovered early that nothing even matters.

I had you and you grasped me closer,

Wearing my heart not on my sleeve,

 but where you rested your head on my shoulder.

My love was so close to your thoughts they intermingled,

giving me a refreshing tingle,

your touches made my skin sizzle,

and with a wayward glance my breath would fizzle,

as my heart leapt to my throat cutting off my air supply,

but your love was eternal resuscitation,

keeping my lungs constantly inflating.

 

Breathing in all you had to offer I was blessed,

I must confess that not even in my wildest dreams would I guess

That I would find perfection in the flesh.

Even at its best my imagination you could easily best,

Discarding images that I thought I longed for, fantasies miscued,

Right when you walked through life’s door.

 

Nothing even matters when I think of me without you,

The sky goes dark as if every bulb in the sky just blew

Limitations were gone the moment we no longer were two,

Melding into one being of profound love that was new,

Suddenly,

We woke up and realized that what we had neither of us ever knew,

Thinking back to the days of honeymoon when we first said I do,

To the present scenario and how our love has only grew

Dating for years we experienced a discarding of our fears,

As we had dinner dates, movie nights, and when it became late we would kiss,

But best of all we would talk until early became late and our thirst for each other we could satiate.

Discussing our hopes for each other, placing all bets on love rather than fate

Eric's Lazy

So I went to visit Eric in Stl this past weekend and I had a mini photo session. He sent me the pics because he claims he's almost out o flickr space...smh. So I'm going to do my first blog update of the day and post the pics. 

 Me Next to Eric's Blowup Mattress...I have a bigger version in my room lol

I love taking pics of myself...with other people's camera

Stylistic Flowz and Jf Kennedy....we are GREAT!

Third Post of the Night/Early Morning

One Day

I want,
to live in a world where love conquers all 
Pride comes before the fall, but if it was up to me, 
I’d tear down your walls, 

Until I see,
you for whom you are meant to be, 
Slinging affection and honesty in your direction, 
Offering my love along with a new form of protection

Over the years
your foundation was built on fear
A moat surrounded your heart filled by tears
A lake of despair that no one could steer

Mature
In body and mind
You’re heart called out for mine
Reaching into the dark scared and blind
Missing your mark time after time

Your heart,
was surrounded by failure
Each betrayal and heartbreak added a fresh layer
Pain and anguish without sight of your savior

I want, 
To live in a world only of me and you
A place where our dreams come true
Devoid of the interference of him and her too

Love in focus,
Magnified by our trials and tribulations
Success at defeating speculations
A time for spontaneous jubilation. 

BTW I always give credit where credit is due. Eric helped me with the third stanza. I needed his advice on whether to keep a line or let it go. Thanks Bro.

Ugh....Damn You Eric

So me and Eric are up on yahoo, and we're both doing some late night writing. I ended up with a new poem, and I don't know if he ended. Well, the end outcome of our conversation is he wants to see the B.S. I've written in the past that I never showed him. So since his yahoo sucks he convinced me to put everything on blogspot. Ugh lol.

Poem I never finished: 

I can’t write anything of substance
Creativity is frozen in the depths of my soul
rambling along I  hope that it erodes, 
Fertilization of my gifts is needed to grow. 

Growth completely internalized

Upward mobility of my mind 
Time for a new direction, a new muse to unfurl
With wings to uplift me, taking me high
Until I choke…. 

I wrote this about Boy Meets World:

 I watched two best friends grow and cope with an awkward adolescence, 
One poor and rough around the edges, Shawn, the other middle class, goofy, and basically lacking any common sense. I witnessed true love blossom, what many may call a first kiss, I saw turn into a love that many could only wish, guided by wisdom and experience the whole cast was given a gift. Next door neighbor was also a mentor, teacher, and friend…he followed them through life until the bitter end. I love Boy Meets World….

Forced:

Chain my hand to the pen and force-feed me inspiration
A slave to my own desire to be better than great, 
I lover of words and the smiths that forge them, 
Words as stiff as steel, applied with the right tools, 
Bend to my will. Time passes and dulls the senses, 
Muscles relax and verbs are free from all tenses, 
Of past and future, 

Cram a word into a tight space and watch as it swells

Beeswax :

Who can write my story better than,
I’m the worker that impregnated the queen bee,
I flew away, 
Waiting the day that my larvae are able to see
No need for lenses, my kids were destined for broken vision
The better to follow different paths, and chart their own mission
Stinging unsuspecting by-standards, but leaving behind golden honey

Necter for the soul, that comes free, no need for money. 

Blog I never posted

I hate being in love. I hate it, simple right? I hate the type of love that is supposed to end when the relationship does, but sadly it doesn’t. I hate thinking about her every time I close my eyes. It is quite simply the worst feeling in the world. “ It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”…that is some bullshit. It is better than to not have loved because losing the one you love hearts worse than any pain imaginable. It’s the type of pain that never truly disappears but fades and dulls with time. Yet, it may spring up at any second to swallow you and submerge you within waves of despair.  

I love Mia Lynne. I have loved her since the beginning, and regret some of the choices I made while I was with her. I regret every argument because now I don’t have her to argue with. I regret every childish moment because now I don’t have her to be childish with. Mainly I regret not appreciating her while I had her. If I could do anything to have her back I would. Things just feel empty, and even with trying to date and move on I find that I still want her. No one is erasing these feeling, or even helping to keep them at bay. 

Addicted

I'm addicted to a few things in my life, and they all have different affects on my life. The most current addiction is Twitter. I love it. I have facebook and update my status on there a lot but twitter seems just way more interactive. I like the concise, quick, and fun that twitter represents. My life is hectic, and I know my friends' are hectic too, and twitter allows for the quickest of updates. 

Along with my twitter addiction I am addicted to online shopping. I love to browse online all day. My favorite site to shop is karmaloop.com. They have some of the most exclusive kicks. Actually, I think I'm going to do a little browsing tonight before I go to sleep. Oh, wait, along with online shopping I love to shop in GOOD malls. The place where I go to school has the wackest mall to ever exist. Luckily for me I love spontaneous trips and this weekend I drove t Kansas City and was overjoyed to find a real mall. Even though the mall was great all I bought was a green button up from Express-I love Express. 

Ok, so we've covered my twitter addiction and shopping habit, but we have yet to discuss my one complete weakness. Yes! You guessed it, I am addicted to my Blackberry. I cannot function without my phone. I use it for everything: planning, texting, internet, and it just adds professionalism to my everyday wardrobe :-).