The BGC

The Boys and Girls Club isn't just a job for me, its a growing experience. 

I love kids...our generations responsibility is to pave the way for the next one to surpass us. I strongly believe that, especially since I just wrote it. I have seen kids come and go, and I hope that I have played a positive role in their life. I hope I have inspired them to step out of their shells and embrace their dreams. 

Dreams are the stepping stones to greatness. A great man said that, me. Whoever shall walk in the path of adversity and grow from their trials will be a stronger individual, and these kids are walking that path. I want to be a guiding light through the fog to insure their safe passage. 

Dreams are not only meant to be experienced during the R.E.M. stages of sleep, but rather during your time awake. That is why I'm working so hard to make sure that I don't lose sight of my dreams. I want to write professionally. I want to be acknowledged for my poetic skills, and as great word smith for my generation transcending boundaries and barriers that are firmly in place in this society we currently live in.  Sucks to have been born in this era sometimes. 

We are taught growing up that this is the best time for our dreams to be accomplished, and that there are sooooooo many opportunities to help make them a reality. Yet, at the same time there are soooooo many obstacles to a child's dream of just making it to the age of 18. 

I'm from Chi-town and its a dangerous place to be. I'm not saying that anywhere else is safe right now, well maybe somewhere in Idaho, you never hear about crime there. Chicago's homicide rate is incredibly high. I'll give the exact stats later, but trust me it's ridiculous when a seven year old boy is abducted and killed. Senseless violence! 

I know that is a sad thought, but back to the BGC. I love the kids, but they are crazy and wild. Today I was having a conversation with a very cute volunteer and I swear kids be trying to block on the low. It was funny, this 4th grader came up to me and my friend Jess, putting us on blast. LOUD! At the moment I didn't care because I actually like her , I didn't mind because it was funny, and who pays attention to a 4th grader, well I do. 

Ok, I'm tired and need to read. I'm seriously slacking. Its time for all passengers to exit the train while we refuel.  Save your tickets because you'll need them for re-admittance. Have a nice break. 

** By the beginning o July Chicago had 228 murders reports for 2008 **

Heartless Life's Instrumental

" In the night I hear em talk the coldest story ever told, somewhere far along the road he lost his soul to a woman so heartless"

My boy Eric put me on this song, oh, about two weeks ago. He loves it, and I love it too. Great minds thing alike, or is it the fact that we both have a lot of hesitancy when it comes to women at the moment? Maybe, maybe not. 

I had a dream about my ex-girlfriend. It was extremely melodramatic, probably because I had been watching Boy Meets World and Dawson's Creek on YouTube, but it was extremely disturbing. In this dream I don't know how, but we reconciled our differences, and i promised to put aside all the negatives in our relationship. I remember that another girl walked by and I turned to pay her some attention for some reason and then turned back to my Ex and found she wasn't visible to me, after scanning the area I finally saw her blending in to the surroundings. I woke up suddenly and felt like I'm not over her yet, I felt drained, even after 8 hours of sleep. 

At this exact moment I miss her like crazy, but I refuse to put myself out there anymore, I decided to move on and let go. My Bro's all told me that if I let go, maybe she'll come back when its time. Fuck all that! In the past few months time has stopped, seemed like father time had a heart attack, but my life has to keep moving. As much as I want to be with her, I know that I can't try to grasp what isn't there. This is one train ride that won't repeat. If its meant to be I hope she has her running shoes on cuz she has to run to catch this train again. Deuces.

P.S. Plus I find myself feeling someone else, and I'm interested to c where it goes, I hope it takes me to a place devoid of heartache, where I can bask in the peacefulness of having someone to share my dreams with and not nightmares devoid of love. So if she has the time, then i'll invest the energy.